McCain Staffers Escape...

...Despite his status as a war hero and generally loveable grand-fatherly figure, some McCain insiders say he's actually batshit crazy and his campaign is on the verge of collapsing.

"One of the top aides to the Republican leadership told me that McCain has lost so much support, he's simply beside himself. He's wringing his hands. Things are sinking fast—in two or three weeks, we'll know if there is any recovery."

Hmm, maybe I should do my next KYC feature on him instead of John H. Cox.